To live is Christ

It escapes me how to go about explaining the past couple months of my life. This life that Christ is continually changing blows me away. I know deep in my heart that I am not going to live the classic “white picket fence- American dream”. I can’t. My heart has been broken over this world and I honestly pray that it stays that way. I went on my first mission trip one month ago. Just writing those words floods my mind with memories and faces. These faces I pray I NEVER forget and may they continually be lifted up in my prayers. The darkness in this world seems so strong at times, especially in a place where all resources seem to be abundant and yet the hopelessness is literally tangible on the streets. My heart aches as I write this. Over and over again Christ is showing the world His beautiful light. This light that brilliantly shines, exposes and cuts through every dark shadow. Here’s the thing that kills me. Here in America...I find myself forgetting. And that is something that haunts me. I read on the back of a magazine yesterday that 22,000 children die every day from malnutrition and preventable diseases… 22,000. Let that number sink in for a moment. Why doesn’t this effect me like it should? Why is it so hard for me to answer the cries of those haunted in this world? We have resources here. We have comfort. O' what a tangled web comfort can weave. I make God too small. It’s so easy to make God fit into our tiny boxes, wrapped with a bow and tucked away until we “really” think we need Him. This is the God of the universe we’re talking about. I can’t believe I try to put a box around the GOD who created everything in this world and though whom ALL things are held together. (Colossians 1:17) God’s heart is breaking. This was so apparent to me in London and it is also apparent here. I asked myself many times…why am I here God? In London I was bold, I felt God’s presence constantly and I was forced to RELY upon His ever present strength. Here at home I make excuses. Jesus, forgive me for my apathy. Something God has been opening my mind to is the fact that people here in Columbia who don’t know Him break His heart just as much as those in London, Nepal, Ecuador and everywhere else around the world. God does not show favoritism. Please understand that I do not write this to condemn, only to point out that our hearts should be breaking over those who are walking in darkness and may not even be aware of their own disparity.

“Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news.” ~ Romans 10:13-15

I was watching TV the other day and this corny commercial came on for Publix ice cream. Everywhere the central character journeyed she couldn’t help but tell everyone about the Moose Tracks flavor. Walking with neighbors, giving a sample to the mail lady...She was slightly obsessed with the ice cream, to say the least. The very end of the commercial revealed she was a Publix employee. Call me crazy, but the commercial got me thinking. If a chocolate, sugar-rush obsessed fan of Moose Tracks tells everyone she meets about it…why do I hesitate SO much to tell others about the hope that I have? I mean, I’m just saying...Jesus is a little bit more fulfilling and amazing than a box of frozen milk and sugar. Made me think.

“Then they called them in again and commanded them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John replied: Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God. For we CANNOT HELP speaking about what we have seen and heard.”~ Acts 4:18-20

I wrote this in my journal from London…

“If I am rich, it is to give to others for CHRIST. If I am beautiful, it is to attract others to CHRIST. If I am full, it is to empty all for CHRIST. If I have eyes to see, it is to lead others to CHRIST. If I am found, it is for me to search for the lost and proclaim CHRIST. If I have joy, it is to show CHRIST’s fulfillment. If I am a light, it is to shine the way to CHRIST. If I have love, it is to love others as CHRIST did. If I have CHRIST I must share…for in showing him to others we are only filled more. To live is CHRIST, to die is gain. (phil 1:21)”