Resting in the Moment

I read this, this morning. It was exactly what I needed. Praying it helps you as well...

"TRUST me enough to let things happen without striving to predict or control them. Relax, and refresh yourself in the Light of My everlasting Love. My Love-light never dims, yet you are often unaware of My radiant Presence. When you project yourself into the future, rehearsing what you will do or say, you are seeking to be self-sufficient: to be adequate without my help. This is a subtle sin-so common that is usually slips by unnoticed. The alternative is to live FULLY in the present, depending on Me each moment. Rather than fearing your inadequacy, rejoice in My abundant supply. Train your mind to seek My help continually, even when you feel competent to handle something by yourself. Don't divide your life into things you can do by yourself and things that require my help. Instead, learn to rely on Me in EVERY situation. This discipline will enable you to enjoy life more and to face each day confidently." ~Jesus Calling

"Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and HE will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!" ~Psalm 37:3-7

"And my God will supply EVERY need of yours according to his riches in glory in CHRIST JESUS." ~Philippians 4:19

I have this bracelet that I wear every day...I got it so that I could remember to shift my focus to Christ. Thing is, most days I put it on out of habit instead of for the purpose I purchased it for. It has the word "rely" inscribed upon it. God has continually reminded me how much I need him. That of course I'm not good enough on my own. In the past I sometimes thought I was or even pretended that I was. Fact is, we ALL have sinned and fallen short of God's standard. (Romans 3:23) There's nothing we can do to be "good" enough. We are ALL broken. We are ALL full of sin. I have seen how ugly that sin is...in myself. I heard a quote yesterday..."It's okay to not be okay, but it's not okay to stay there." God doesn't want us to stay there and we don't have to. He will pick us up from the pits we often dig ourselves. He is ABLE to make us NEW. We are able to have a new identity in Christ..so that God sees us not as the ugly, messed up, sin-filled people we are..but perfect, beautiful, and glowing in the light of Christ.

"Deliverance from the Black Hole"

Today I got an email from a group I subscribe to called "Ephesians Four Ministries". It hit me incredibly close to home and wanted to share it..God is so Sovereign and loving. it blows my mind. <3 It starts out with a prayer...

"Dear God, As I sit here today, looking out my window, I see the rain coming down and freezing as it coats the trees, forming little icicles along the twigs and branches. How pretty it is...but how dangerous it can be. Branches may split and break, trees may fall; some may recover while others will die. Ice gets heavy and slick and and wreaks havoc on so many things, interrupting power, causing accidents, and so on. So it is with the things of the world. Sometimes things may appeal to our senses, but they bring with them danger that can break hearts, damage relationships, ruin lives, and even result in death. Please help me to remain alert to dangers and snares and be ever sensitive to the Holy Spirit each and every day of my life. Please rescue those who have been overcome by the temptations that beckon, and have fallen. Lord, protect us and lift us up.Thank you for staying close and being there, ready to reach out and grab us whenever we look up to you and cry out. May we keep our focus on you and live our lives accordingly. In Jesus' name I pray, amen."

"Deliverance from the Black Hole
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman
09-30-2011

"As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Joshua 1:5b).

A black hole is a place of total nothingness. It's a time in our life when God removes the resources and supports that we normally rely on to feel secure - our careers, finances, friends, family, health and so forth. It is a preparation time.

When you find yourself in a black hole experience, don't just sit and brood. Take stock of your life. Take a look at your relationship with God.

First, ask God if there are any sins, habits, or attitudes that He might be judging in your life. It's important to discern whether the trial we face is the result of God's discipline for our sin?or if it is preparing us for a future leadership role.

Second, when you enter a black hole, don't trust your feelings. Trust God. Your feelings will tell you, "God has rejected you. Abandon hope. He has left you utterly alone." Feelings change; God never changes. Feelings come and go; God is always with us.

Third, remember that your black hole experience is not only intended to refine and define you; it's also intended to influence and change the lives of hundreds or even thousands of other people. Our adversity is not just for us, but others in our sphere of influence.

Fourth, don't try to hurry the black hole process along. Remember, when Joseph was in the depths of the pit, there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't climb out, jump out, levitate out, or talk his way out. All he could do was pray and wait upon the Lord.

Fifth, lean on God. Even when you don't feel like praying, pray. Even when you don't feel like reading His Word, read. Even when you don't feel like singing songs of faith, sing. When you pray, don't just talk; listen. Be silent before Him and listen for His still, quiet voice.

Sixth, be alert to new truths and new perspectives. During a black hole experience, God often leads us to amazing new discoveries. A black hole can be a storehouse of unexpected riches for the soul.

~Praying this touches other hearts as it has touched mine. Love you dear friends..God loves you more.

Deep Calls to Deep

“That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the sea.” ~Matthew 13:1

Last week, for the first time in a long time, I was able to throw my watch and time-keeping tendencies aside and truly sink into God’s love. I think “being still” is one of the most challenging things for me to do sometimes. I know I don’t do it nearly enough. God is obviously near us every where we are…but for some reason standing on the edge of a vast ocean..Looking out til the water blends with the heavens, your breathe is taken away. I am pretty sure I could have stayed there for days and I would have been perfectly content tossing and turning among the waves. Something struck me while I was in that ocean. It was an incredibly strong current. It was partially made that way, I’m sure, from the brewing storms out at sea. Connie and I fought hard against it but we kept inadvertently drifting away from our starting point. Finally I turned my back to the waves and just submitted to wherever they took me. I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds of ocean waves coming closer and could only laugh as I clumsily swam with the current. Every time one took me closer to the shore, I stubbornly swam harder and farther out. “Your waves and your breakers wash over me” (Psalm 42:7) kept repeating over and over in my head..There’s something powerful and awe-inspiring about being in the midst of something so much larger and greater than you. I thought about how Jesus is relentless. He literally pursues us with a persistent and powerful love. Sometimes when he disciplines us or keeps us from things we become angry and we fight. I know I have. But what beautiful freedom comes when we simply turn our backs to “trying to figure everything out” and succumb to his powerful force.

Psalm 42:

“As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?” These things I remember, as I pour out my soul; how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival. Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. My soul is cast down within me, therefore I remember you from the land of Jordan to Hermon, from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me. By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life. I say to God, my rock: “Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of my enemy?” As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?” Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.”

Jesus, there are storms at sea...and sometimes it's easy to see them and let fear over take our focus...when our souls are in turmoil may we always, always turn to you. I don't always do that...and honestly, being still before you scares me sometimes because it means I have to stop running from everything and face it. May we never ever forget that when we do have to turn around and face it..we have you beside us..holding our hands. The storms...they make us ache, but Jesus, they also stir up the waves of your love. We will not be overcome, though at times we feel as though we are. Let us remember that we WILL praise you again..our Salvation. Our Rock. Our God.

Double Portions

Have you ever felt like you have lost something? You may feel as though you have given it away or maybe even wasted it. Perhaps someone took it from you. The point is, you quite possibly feel that there is nothing you could do to get it back. I've been there. There are a lot of things in this world that lie to us. They claim to bring us wholeness or satisfaction…everything we’ve ever wanted or continue to look for. Then when they fade, or the person leaves, or that first excitement is no longer there we’re empty again. C.S Lewis said it like this:

“The longings which arise in us when we first fall in love, or first think of some foreign country, or first take up some subject that excites us, are longings which no marriage, no travel, no learning, can really satisfy…If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probably explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing.”(Mere Christianity)

It’s hard to come to terms with ourselves sometimes. At least it is for me. The thing (among many) that is so glorious about God is that he does not lie to us. All the things He promises us are true. I heard once that faith is hope that we can stand on. What if all the things you thought you had lost, every mistake you made and every decision you have come to regret was somehow turned into a blessing? Lately, while reading, a concept continues to jump off the page. This concept is the unmerited “double portion.” I first noticed it in the book of Job.

At the very end of the book (which is awesome, you should read it) it states “And the Lord restored the fortunes of Job, when he had prayed for his friends. And the Lord gave Job TWICE as much as he had before.” (Job 42:10) To truly understand the significance of this verse one must know that at the beginning of the book everything Job had treasured in his life had been taken or destroyed. (Save His very life) His children, his health, his wealth, virtually all that had “defined” his earthly life had been stripped bare before his eyes. And what was His response? “And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong.” (Job 1:21-22) I don’t know about you…but sometimes it seems incredibly easy to blame God when things seem to be “going wrong”. How many times have I gotten angry or blamed God for taking various "fill-in-the-blanks" away? It is also significant to note that Job was restored after He prayed for His friends. These same friends had quite honestly hurt Job in a very real way and yet He was humble enough to pray for them. That's pretty huge. Throughout the book He questions and does not hide his pain and brokenness. Yet at the very end…”The Lord gave Job TWICE as much as he had before.” All that was lost…was restored. God not only restored Job, He gave him twice as much as before.

What if in the midst of the shadow of loss there was someone who could actually restore and fulfill? Well, there is…

“Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion! Shout aloud, O daughter of Jerusalem! Behold, your king is coming to you; righteous and having salvation is he, humble and mounted on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey. I will cut of the chariot from Ephraim and the war horse from Jerusalem; and the battle bow shall be cut off, and he shall speak peace to the nations; his rule shall be from sea to sea, and from the River to the ends of the earth. As for you also, because of the blood of my covenant with you, I will set your prisoners FREE from the waterless pit. Return to your stronghold, O prisoners of hope; TODAY I declare that I will restore to you DOUBLE.” ~Zechariah 9:9-12

Jesus, in his humble incredible sacrifice gave us double. This was God’s plan all along and it’s still His plan. The thing is, we must look past what we think of as lost and realize it has been found in God all along. He restores us when we cannot restore ourselves. God’s love covers a multitude of sins and His love is something that covers you my friend.

In Isaiah the double portion is seen again: “Instead of your shame there shall be a DOUBLE PORTION; instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot; therefore in their land they shall possess a double portion; they shall have everlasting joy.” (Isaiah 61:7)

How beautiful is that? God literally promises to exchange our shame for blessing, our dishonor for rejoicing and to give us JOY when we give him the remnants of our seemingly lost hopes, dreams and experiences.

“Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and cry to her that her warfare is ended, that her iniquity is pardoned, that she has received from the Lord’s hand double for all her sins.” (Isaiah 40:1-2)

And that is hope we can stand on.

To live is Christ

It escapes me how to go about explaining the past couple months of my life. This life that Christ is continually changing blows me away. I know deep in my heart that I am not going to live the classic “white picket fence- American dream”. I can’t. My heart has been broken over this world and I honestly pray that it stays that way. I went on my first mission trip one month ago. Just writing those words floods my mind with memories and faces. These faces I pray I NEVER forget and may they continually be lifted up in my prayers. The darkness in this world seems so strong at times, especially in a place where all resources seem to be abundant and yet the hopelessness is literally tangible on the streets. My heart aches as I write this. Over and over again Christ is showing the world His beautiful light. This light that brilliantly shines, exposes and cuts through every dark shadow. Here’s the thing that kills me. Here in America...I find myself forgetting. And that is something that haunts me. I read on the back of a magazine yesterday that 22,000 children die every day from malnutrition and preventable diseases… 22,000. Let that number sink in for a moment. Why doesn’t this effect me like it should? Why is it so hard for me to answer the cries of those haunted in this world? We have resources here. We have comfort. O' what a tangled web comfort can weave. I make God too small. It’s so easy to make God fit into our tiny boxes, wrapped with a bow and tucked away until we “really” think we need Him. This is the God of the universe we’re talking about. I can’t believe I try to put a box around the GOD who created everything in this world and though whom ALL things are held together. (Colossians 1:17) God’s heart is breaking. This was so apparent to me in London and it is also apparent here. I asked myself many times…why am I here God? In London I was bold, I felt God’s presence constantly and I was forced to RELY upon His ever present strength. Here at home I make excuses. Jesus, forgive me for my apathy. Something God has been opening my mind to is the fact that people here in Columbia who don’t know Him break His heart just as much as those in London, Nepal, Ecuador and everywhere else around the world. God does not show favoritism. Please understand that I do not write this to condemn, only to point out that our hearts should be breaking over those who are walking in darkness and may not even be aware of their own disparity.

“Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news.” ~ Romans 10:13-15

I was watching TV the other day and this corny commercial came on for Publix ice cream. Everywhere the central character journeyed she couldn’t help but tell everyone about the Moose Tracks flavor. Walking with neighbors, giving a sample to the mail lady...She was slightly obsessed with the ice cream, to say the least. The very end of the commercial revealed she was a Publix employee. Call me crazy, but the commercial got me thinking. If a chocolate, sugar-rush obsessed fan of Moose Tracks tells everyone she meets about it…why do I hesitate SO much to tell others about the hope that I have? I mean, I’m just saying...Jesus is a little bit more fulfilling and amazing than a box of frozen milk and sugar. Made me think.

“Then they called them in again and commanded them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John replied: Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God. For we CANNOT HELP speaking about what we have seen and heard.”~ Acts 4:18-20

I wrote this in my journal from London…

“If I am rich, it is to give to others for CHRIST. If I am beautiful, it is to attract others to CHRIST. If I am full, it is to empty all for CHRIST. If I have eyes to see, it is to lead others to CHRIST. If I am found, it is for me to search for the lost and proclaim CHRIST. If I have joy, it is to show CHRIST’s fulfillment. If I am a light, it is to shine the way to CHRIST. If I have love, it is to love others as CHRIST did. If I have CHRIST I must share…for in showing him to others we are only filled more. To live is CHRIST, to die is gain. (phil 1:21)”

He Is With You

Psalm 139

"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in-behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand WILL hold me fast. If I say "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How VAST is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men! They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord, and abhor those who rise up against you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them with my enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Falling

So today I went for a run and it was the perfect day for it. Sun shining down, cool breeze blowing…Yes, South Carolina “winter”. But was I focused on the beautiful day or how blessed I am? No, I was focused on the billions of things I have yet to do and stupid things that have no point being contemplated. So somewhere in the middle of Hampton and Pickens St I fell. I will admit it was a slightly graceful fall. I quickly looked around to see if anyone had seen and save a lone care sitting at a stoplight, I was safe. My first thought? “Well at least no one really saw that.” So I got up, brushed myself off and went on my merry way, still weighed down by a dozen things on my mind. Obviously God was trying to teach me something today…because I fell AGAIN. This time it was right in the middle of campus, dozens of people around. Needless to say, I was not the happiest person in the world. This time there was no grace to be had and I tumbled down the hill. I sat there for a second…wondering whether to laugh or pretend nothing had happened. I went with the latter..lol So after quickly sprinting up the hill, I slowed to a walk and quietly said, “K, Lord you have my attention now”. So I’m sure you’re wondering why I bothered to tell you my awkward story….Here’s why. So many times, at least in my own life, it takes a fall for me to focus fully on God. The first type can be a lot like my first fall…no one sees, we get up and brush ourselves off. Sometimes this makes us focus and turn back to the God of our hearts. Often times, however, it takes the second fall to truly make us turn. That’s hard…especially when it can be a public one. So many things in our lives can seem to become bigger and bigger until we can’t even see where we are headed anymore. We make God too small. It’s seriously comforting to know that even if we fall on our faces, we never fall out of our God’s hands. He picks us up every single time.

“If the Lord delights in a man’s way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.” ~Psalm 37:23-24

Keep our steps firm in you, Lord. May it not take a fall for us to turn to You. Give us focused and uncluttered hearts and when we do fall, may the fall always bring us closer to you.

“You move the earth
You hold the stars
Come move in us
Come hold our hearts
You send the rain
And life begins
So rain on us and reign within our lives again

We're waiting here
Waiting for you God
With our hopes and fears
We come empty hands held out
Lord draw us near
Heal these broken hearts
And lift us up to fall before everything you are

You lift the sun into the sky
You lift us up
Open our eyes
To see your face
And what you've done
You took the nails to give us love
And we stand in awe before your throne
There's no where else that we can go

We're waiting here
Waiting for you God” ~Tenth Avenue North “Lift Us Up to Fall”