Fear is contagious. I wasn’t truly aware of this concept
until recently. I was on a trip to Avila beach, CA with my sweet
cousins. We decided to walk on the pier overlooking the Pacific. It was a
beautiful, clear day. There were cliffs in the distance and an incredible ocean
view guided your eyes straight ahead. As we walked on and the shore started to
become distant, I heard my younger cousin exclaim, “I don’t want
to go any further! Look at the cracks in the pier!” At first I just smiled. You know, being the “brave adult” I
assured her we wouldn’t fall through. Her fears became a little louder the
further we went out. Suddenly, I
noticed I was starting to look down as well. ”That water did look awfully deep and
we were pretty far out. Did they really have to make the boards that far
apart?” Slowly I stopped enjoying
the breeze blowing through my hair and started focusing on each and every
crack. I silently wished we could turn back. I breathed a sigh of relief with
every step taken that didn’t result in a fall. Half way across, a still voice seemed to whisper to my
heart...”Look up”. So I did, with
a huge gulp of fear lodging itself in my throat. I just stared out at that gorgeous, blue water. And just like
that I stopped worrying about the boards under my feet and started to enjoy the
view again.
Funny thing is, either way, looking at the boards or looking up I wasn’t falling. Yet, so much potential joy was stolen away as I focused on the fear and what if’s of each step. I could still technically see the ocean... through the cracks, that is. What a tiny view of things when all I had to do was look up to see the big picture.
I feel as though I’m on the precipice of something…wanting to take the leap, fearing the fall. I can’t see…at least I claim I can’t. In reality, God has been telling me to open my eyes all along, hasn’t He? He says to set my mind on things above, set my eyes on the risen Son. I am afraid of loneliness. I am afraid of being wrong. I am afraid of failure. All of these things, which I claim in my thoughts to be alone in, are universal concepts that I’m sure everyone has struggled with. I haven’t been taking things day by day. I’ve been trying to conquer a lifetime of fears in a day…I get overwhelmed and then I just decide to give up. We go where our gaze rests. I learned this concept when I was 6 years old and learning to figure skate. “Don’t look at the ground”, my coach would state….”Or, you are going to end up there! “ Where we fix our gaze each day determines what type of life we live in the end.
Funny thing is, either way, looking at the boards or looking up I wasn’t falling. Yet, so much potential joy was stolen away as I focused on the fear and what if’s of each step. I could still technically see the ocean... through the cracks, that is. What a tiny view of things when all I had to do was look up to see the big picture.
I feel as though I’m on the precipice of something…wanting to take the leap, fearing the fall. I can’t see…at least I claim I can’t. In reality, God has been telling me to open my eyes all along, hasn’t He? He says to set my mind on things above, set my eyes on the risen Son. I am afraid of loneliness. I am afraid of being wrong. I am afraid of failure. All of these things, which I claim in my thoughts to be alone in, are universal concepts that I’m sure everyone has struggled with. I haven’t been taking things day by day. I’ve been trying to conquer a lifetime of fears in a day…I get overwhelmed and then I just decide to give up. We go where our gaze rests. I learned this concept when I was 6 years old and learning to figure skate. “Don’t look at the ground”, my coach would state….”Or, you are going to end up there! “ Where we fix our gaze each day determines what type of life we live in the end.
